A humble listing of female characters from a variety of media, whose kiss produces adverse effects on their victims.
 
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 A Pirate's Life For Me

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Caustic_Clown



Posts : 540
Join date : 2013-06-28

PostSubject: A Pirate's Life For Me   Thu Jun 01, 2017 6:33 am

You plug in the next external harddrive and switch tabs to your torrents. Sure, you're never going to come around to watching all this porn, but if people get a Netflix subscription without ever completing a series, or keep buying new books if they haven't finished their old ones, how is this any different? Wait, that's right, those idiots are actually paying for the goods.

You suddenly see smoke and sparks come from the aforementioned harddrive. Before your fears that this will be a rerun of 2015's ill-fated Bitcoin mining scheme are confirmed, the thing explodes in a dismally limp manner and the room is blanketed in smoke. Thank god the landlord's too lazy to invest in an alarm. From the cloud steps a beauty that looks like she just came from a Pirates 5 première party: http://www.pinkfineart.com/galleries/istripper/a1521-viola-beardys_bounty/full/VGI0949P060008.jpg

"My, nearly two terabytes of pornography. Not the worst I've seen, but still pretty bad," her beguiling voice speaks as she looks around at the various harddrives dotting your sleeping quarters. "They could lock you up for all this theft of intellectual property for the rest of your life, but that won't really make up for our loss in profits. So instead, we've decided to cut out the middleman and just have you compensate us directly."

You're at a loss and you make this clear to her: "Who the fuck are you? Where the fuck did you come from? Do you have a fucking warrant? You need to give me a fucking lawyer before you take any action! And what do you fucking mean by compensating you directly? Who are you with?"

She only smiles in reply and says: "Excellent, you certainly have fucking on your mind a lot. We figured that if you liked porn so much, you might as well become a star yourself. Entirely out of charity, of course. You'll get enough poon to melt your brain, not that you had much of that to begin with. Consider it your just dues for denying all those poor starlets their proper wages." And with that said, she swiftly grabs your collar and pulls you towards her, mashing her lips against yours and invading your mouth, getting around your defenses like it's the Maginot Line. With a snap of her fingers, your computer monitor turns into a swirling vortex of energy that sucks the both of you in, not that her sucking on your lip really allows you to pay attention to any of this. You blissfully drift away on clouds of pleasure, that will guide you straight into a career of debauchery you won't be able to escape from...
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