Reflection, Gossip, and Liquor

"No, no, it's fine. I...need to tell this. It's nothing I don't already know, after all."

Alright. deep breaths. Focus. You're almost through. Maybe you can make it through without entirely breaking down this time? You're already doing better.

She felt like she should say something about being held in his arms like this, but the feeling was...comforting. He felt nice. Maybe smelled nice a little too. She didn't want to move, especially considering what's coming next.

"Now, let's continue..."

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Neither of us really knew how to take care of a child. But thankfully, we weren't alone in that regard. The entire village pitched in to help wherever they could. Whether it was baby food, keeping him happy, or simply advice, it was like the whole place was one big family.

Even the tengu felt the same way, and helped when they could. Ryuna loved seeing them, she used to fluff their feathers when they went to see her. The tengu seemed to like it too.

For a few months, it was like time stopped just to focus entirely on our precious baby girl. I wish I could have lived that moment forever. With her in my arms, gently rocking her to sleep.

About 3 months in, she started to develop a violent cough. I was able to pinpoint it as some kind of sickness that can be fatal to newborns, and the cure apparently needed a type of herb that didn't grow in the area, but closer to Mora's home. I was determined to go there myself via carriage and get them for her, but Mora insisted otherwise.

"I'm going because I know you don't want to see your family, and the tengu won't be allowed in a human city. She needs that medicine, Mora."

"But the storms have been terrible lately. We've had at least a foot of rain in the last week alone. It's dangerous high in the mountains like this, mudslides and landslides are everywhere. Even the tengu are worried."

"Then what am I supposed to do? Wait until who the hell knows when for this stormy season to pass while our child gets sicker and sicker? She might not make it past that point, Mora. And I'm not going to let that happen. No matter what. Mother Nature can suck it."

"...you're right, of course. Alright. But I'm going with you. Even if I see my family again, I don't care. I'm going to protect you."

"I think you're worrying too much, myself, but if that's your decision."

We had readied a carriage and were preparing to leave by the hour. The storms continued to be terrible with the rain and thunder seeming to fight us the whole way, but we set off. Ryuna hated the storms, but I did what I could to keep her calm, the coughing only getting worse.

We made it over the mountain range with little issue, and quickly found what we needed in his hometown. Surprisingly, we managed to completely avoid any of his family. Apparently there was some border conflict going on and they needed support for it, so we were able to get in and out without issue. Ryuna's coughing was already improving, just from the small dosage. We got a few extra bottles of what we needed just to be sure.

It was on our way back when everything went wrong. That image is still imprinted onto my mind. I don't think it ever won't be, truly.

We had just crossed over the mountain range when we heard a rumble. A very loud rumble. So much so that the entire carriage was shaking. I looked out to see what the problem was.

Mud. Rocks. Giant boulders. All coming at us at incredibly high speeds and covering the entire area around the cart.

Mora pulled me close, shielding both me and the baby.

And that's when the impact happened.

I remember the pain. There was so much. From everywhere. The landslide was large enough that it carried the entire carriage down the path and into the nearby forest. I had been passed out from the pain for what felt like hours. I woke up to Ryuna crying. Through some miracle, she seemed entirely unharmed. Some god was looking out for us that day, at the very least. My head was ringing in pain. My entire body was racked with it. And Mora was laying on top of me.

"Mora...are you...okay?"

No response.

"Come on...Mora, we need...to get up."

Still nothing.

Starting to get really worried, I checked for his pulse, desperate for any kind of reaction. Just a sign.

Nothing. He was killed instantly in the impact.

Fighting the tears, I tried to get up, to do something, anything, but I couldn't. My legs wouldn't work. Confused, I tried to move Mora slightly to see why, and I could see that they were broken. But it was more than that.

I was paralyzed from the back down. Even if my legs were functional, they wouldn't have worked either.

I shouted for help. For anyone. Anything. I couldn't tell what was my own grief and what was the vicious rain, and it didn't matter. It took about an hour before a group of tengu noticed us through the storm.

I...I..

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The tears intensified. She knew it would happen. She wouldn't be able to stop. And the worst part was she knew she wasn't done. But she was determined to keep going. No matter how much it hurt.

That explained her look..But to lose someone close. A memory appeared in the forefront of his mind. His childhood friend, struck down.

It had been a Doppleganger, but still...To see his friend killed....He had almost released Dracula right then and there.

He pulled her into a tight hug. He'd be here for her, damnit.

She was too far gone not to accept the hug. She buried herself in his shoulder and just let loose for a little bit. Even after getting the closure she wanted, it was still something she couldn't bring herself to bring to the forefront. She sat there in his arms for what seemed like an eternity, letting out all her pain and suffering on him. She didn't care if people were watching. She didn't care about relationships, or love, or embarrassment right now. She needed this.

Are you going to continue? You and I both know that you're not done. And it's only going to get worse. Can you even take that right now?

Reluctantly, she pulled herself out of his arms and tried, and failed, to make herself appear a bit more composed.

"I...I'm sorry about that. I suppose sometimes these things are...too much for me. Give me...a moment to get myself together."

Soma simply sat there, letting her cry as she began patting her back. As she pulled away, Soma gave a small smile. "It's fine. It's a sad story. Nobody will think less of you for crying. And if they do, they're idiots."

"I...thank you, Soma."

Are you sure you want to do this? Are you capable? That bit with Mora was resolved, it's over, you got your closure, and you STILL broke down. This bit here? It's still fresh. That's an open wound that you can't do anything about.

Her cheeks still bright red from earlier, her brain wrestled with whether she should truly finish this story. If she could finish this story. She had resolved to do so, and whether it broke her or not is no longer something she cares about.

She took a deep breath. "Soma, I...might get even worse than I just was. If I break down again...will you let me do that again? I..."

Soma's response was to simply spread his arms open. If she needed a hug, he was here for her. No way in hell would he let someone go through this alone.

She simply smiled at the gesture.

And this is why you're not sure if you love him or not. He's the type that would go out of his way for anyone that really needed it. You used to love that about me, after all.

"Soma, you're...a treasure I don't deserve. Thank you."

"Let's finish this story so I can stop feeling bad about it. I can recall this part perfectly..."

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The funeral for Mora was extravagant, at least for our village. In the time since he had become part of our community, he had won the hearts of everyone here. Even the tengu chiefs had come to be part of the ceremony, completely devoid of any competition between each other to honor the person who had given so much to help them. The crying of the fledglings could be heard throughout the church. It made it very hard to not cry with them, but I had to stay strong. For her sake. I had been bound to a wheelchair since the incident, but I adapted to it quickly. It limited what I was capable of, but I still managed.

After the funeral, both chiefs offered to give Mora a proper Tengu burial, as a mark of respect. Only the highest warriors would be offered such a thing, and those that received the ceremony were labeled as legends who would be passed down through the clans, and others they interacted with.

"Mora, was a man's man. In the end, he died protecting the ones he loved with his life. I can't think of any greater distinction." Kivalis's expression was somber, without a hint of his usual smirk.

"I agree. This is the least we can do for him." Morel was equally somber.

The young tengu were urging me to do it as I spoke with them. I don't think I could have brought myself to say no.

His burial ground was placed among many other warrior tengu, including the previous chiefs, where the ceremony was held. Many praises and songs were held for him, including one made by the fledglings that always stayed with him. It was enough to bring my tears back, along with most of the village with them. Makalov had a hand on my shoulder the whole time.

After the proceedings, things never truly went back to normal, but a sense of normalcy, at the very least. My grief was...immeasurable, but I persevered, for the sake of our daughter. Mora would have wanted that. For a time, I kept it to myself and acted like nothing was wrong, taking care of our precious little girl and watching her grow.

And then, 3 months afterwards, things broke even further. I remember the day incredibly well. I can still remember the sounds, the smells, the feelings associated with it, like they were just yesterday. The clouds were dark and stormy, and it was windy, but no rain came that day. It was overall a bleak day.

She had just made a mess of her favorite blanket, spilled some food on it. "Oh, silly thing, you. Food doesn't go there. Here, let me go clean this and I'll be right back." She truly loved that one, always had it with her and she couldn't sleep without it. I went to the kitchen to run some water over it and make sure it was clean, a few rooms down. I went back down the hall to get her blanket back to her. "Alright, all clean, now let's try that agai-"

The sight I saw would forever be burned into my mind. I don't think it will ever leave, even if I found her again.

The room had been stripped bare. It was entirely empty. Even the wallpaper had been removed, as if nothing had ever existed in this room before. And Ryuna was nowhere to be found.

My mind raced as I started to break down and I was rolling my chair around the room, looking for any trace of her.

"Wha..."

I don't understand

"Wha.."

I can't process this

"What..."

Where is my baby

Everything was gone. Everything related to her. And she was gone. I screamed, these thoughts finally connecting together in my brain.

Makalov and a few others rushed to where I was, and were as dumbfounded as I was at seeing the scene in front of them.

"FAN OUT! GET EVERYONE IN TOWN INVOLVED! WHOEVER DID THIS CAN'T HAVE GOTTEN FAR!" Makalov shouted to the group behind as they fanned out. All I could do was slump into my chair and slowly fall out of my wheelchair, broken and overcome with my own grief.

It wasn't long until two familiar faces showed up at my doorstep, staring each other down.

"Old man."

"Young pup."

"We can't afford to be at each other's throats right now."

"Agreed. This is beyond our petty squabbles."

"I think this is one of the few times we've been in agreement about something this much in decades."

The both looked directly at me as I sat in my chair in front of the door. "Tell us what to do."

Through my tears, I said "Please...please find my daughter!"

They both bowed at the command. "It will be done." And they took off into the air at an incredible pace.

Days went by as the Tengu explored every possible spot in the village, assisted by the villagers, along with the surrounding mountains. Days turned to weeks. Weeks turned to months.

Not a single trace remained.

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Stronger than they'd ever been, the tears once again returned halfway through. She kept going to finish, but once she said what she wanted to, she took up Soma's offer and once again embraced, pushing her face into his chest as she let out all of her emotions at once.

"...."

Soma hugged her tightly, fury brimming within the young man. Someone would take advantage of a widow's mourning, to steal from them? To steal her kid? For once, there was a small agreement between Soma, and the soul that he had wanted locked away.

Whoever did this would pay.

"June." His voice was level, surprisingly so.

"I am going to find whoever did this. I'll call up friends if need be, and we will comb this entire world over if need be. But we *will* find your child....Until then, I'll stay here and help you out in any way I can. It's the least I can do."

He didn't know if Arikado and Yoko could help. But he wanted to try to do something.

All she could do was nod as she continued to cry into his chest.

Deep down, she knew it likely wouldn't help. That was over 10 years ago now. All she knew about her daughter now was that she shared her hair color. And taking the DNA of every potential 10 year old girl was...laughable.

but he's still trying anyway

If only for a moment, she let herself be this soft, vulnerable person. That same soft, vulnerable person from 10 years ago. The helpless individual that was truly lost on where to go from here. The one who all she could do is cry.

Slowly, Soma let out a breath, just rocking back and forth as he tried to comfort her. "I'll be by your side. If you need anything, don't hesitate to ask. I'll do everything in my power to assist, until we can find her. That's a promise."

but what if we never find her

but what if she's already dead

but what if

These thoughts were strong in June's mind. Just as it had been for years. Always resting there, in the back of her mind. Taunting her with indecision and sloth.

June, you said the same thing about me. And look what you accomplished today. You broke the laws of magic to see me one more time.

maybe...maybe there's a chance

Slowly, she pulled herself out of the embrace, even if a part of her would have liked to remain there forever, tears still going down her face but much less than before.

"I...I've gone a long time thinking that...I might never find her. I've tried so...hard. So long. I don't know if you can even help with it anymore. But...thank you."

She took a tissue and did what she could to calm herself. Messy nose blowing and all.

"I-its funny, really. I started this night saying the same thing to you. A-And here I am, accepting help from you once again. I.."

Placing his hands on her shoulders, he gave a smile. "Come on, June. Smile. You look a lot more beautiful when you do that."

Whether that would have repercussions, good or ill, Soma did not care. All he cared about was making sure she was alright.

June had long since all but forgotten about her earlier embarrassment and attachment. All that remained was she, and him. Just June. And this person that she trusted above anyone else right now.

At his request, she gave him a warm smile through her tears.

"I'm almost done, I swear. A-And then I'll stop hurting myself like this. Alright?"

"Alright. You've kept me for this long. It'd be cruel of me to deny you, wouldn't it?"

"A-alright, thank you. Let me finish this, it's not much left at this point..."

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The tengu searched for months with nothing to show for it. The chiefs themselves joined in the hunts, getting frustrated by the lack of anything tangible. Whenever I would come see them, they always had a grim expression on their faces. The young fledglings would always rush to me and greet me with a hug, covered in young tengu and feathers.

For the most part, I delved into my work and research, looking for something, ANYTHING, that could get me one step closer. Every medical handbook, every possible source I could find. My work was...fruitless.

Taking a break and leaving the lab for the first time in over a week, I decided to take a bit of a trip around town to clear my head. I stopped by Makalov's bar in the hopes that he could have something to cheer me up, where I saw him talking with a strange, small, robed figure at the bar itself.

"Uh, June, I think this person's here for you?"

Puzzled, I approached the figure, who turned to face me. She was an old woman, shriveled and frail.

"Ah, you must be the lady in question. I've heard that things have been especially tough for you lately." Her voice was gravely, as if she was gargling a bunch of rocks.

"Yeah, you could say that. What's on your mind about it...?"

"What would you say if I could give you a lead to start with?"

Both mine and Makalov's eyes grew wide at the statement. I reached out to grab the woman "Please, if you know anything, tell me! I'm begging you!"

"Now now, dear, there's no need for that. I don't know anything about your daughter, but I can teach you how you can find that answer yourself. How familiar are you with magic?"

"Magic? Like the magician "pull a rabbit out of your hat" kind of deal, or the more classic "shoot fire out of your hands" type?"

"Not quite. What I refer is something a bit more...arcane. And the first step would be to make your body more accustomed to it. It's currently not strong enough to handle it in your state.

"So what would you suggest then?"

She clasped her hands together. "Quite simple, my dear. I give you a new body. One that combines your knowledge of the body and science, with my magics. I can guarantee you'll be able to walk again, as well."

"This is...a lot to offer someone you just met. What's the catch?"

"Truth be told, there isn't one. I've heard your story, and seen your plight. I can feel it in your very soul. Your spirit is broken, dear. And this old woman wants to give you a head start."

Inside, I was deathly cautious of this woman. She spoke of arcane magics, dangerous things that people warn others not to even think about. And she was offering to change me forever, in a way that would let me use these magics. Part of me thought I should say no. But one question bubbled up to the surface right as I was about to.

would I get another chance like this, ever again

"I'll do it. You do anything to me I don't like, and the tengus will likely rip you limb from limb. I need any advantage I can get."

"I understand you don't trust me. I wouldn't either. But I can assure you, you will be thankful for this."

Makalov seemed worried, but at this point I was too far gone to consider otherwise. I led her back to my lab and we spoke of theories and magic for an extended period of time. And she described the process to me. It was, in a word, excruciatingly painful, but would put everything that is me into a more capable body. One that could do everything I used to, and so much more.

So I did it. I told the townspeople beforehand about the process. About how it might make me look different. Maybe even not like me anymore. Perhaps they knew they couldn't stop me, or maybe they felt the same as I did, but either way, they accepted it.

And so, that night, the old woman went ahead with the procedure. The shouts of pain and agony could be heard all across the village and even up the mountains. And in the morning, everyone gathered around my front door, waiting for me to show myself.

When I walked out, I had the form that you are familiar with. This form, of pure magical ability. And the process was irreversible. I was terrified of what they thought of me. Would they see me as hideous? That I had committed some cardinal sin? What if they didn't want anything to do with me anymore?

After a small moment of an awkward pause, a familiar group of small tengu fledglings took a good look at me, before running over and hugging my legs, not bothered by the new form at all. I broke down into tears and hugged back, and soon the rest of the town followed. Even with this form, I'll always be me.

I soon realized that staying here would have been a dead end. No matter what, if I wanted to find her, I would have to branch out. And so, I packed what I could of my medical supplies, texts, materials, whatever, and decided to announce that I was leaving. There was many tears at the statement, but all of them understood.

The two chiefs had decided to see me off as well. "Even if it turned up empty, we'll always keep an eye out for anything helpful, and send someone if we find something."

"Right. You can be sure of that. Good luck on your travels, June. May good fortune lead you to your daughter."

And so I left that small little village, where I found and lost love. Where I lost a part of myself, over and over again. Where my family was. To find the rest of my family.

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Her tears hadn't stopped once during her story. Even still, she had a smile on her face.

"And that's it. My travels led me here in search of magical energy, something massive enough to let me do those things. And you know the rest of the story. Most of my failed experiments because the attacks that you know me for. Most of them had exploded in my face at least once. Sometimes several."

Huh...That was it, huh? Her story....What a doozy. Letting out a deep breath, he began processing it all at once.

"And then you stumbled on me. Some moron who managed to have Dracula's Soul wedged in him, and thought that it would work. It did, sure, but....Wow."

Soma shook his head. "I can't even begin to imagine what you've gone through."

"Pretty much, yeah. But I think you're underselling yourself. What I met, was a wonderful person who helped me see my late husband one more time. Who trusted me, a total stranger, with something they didn't feel like they could control themselves. All for someone else's sake. Even after dealing with many in his own past that abused that same trust."

"I don't want to rush things. Because deep down, I feel like I've rushing for the last 10 years of my life. Rushing to see Mora again. Rushing to find Ryuna. Rushing. Maybe even...rushing into a relationship that I wasn't ready for. I...I want to stop rushing, for once in my life."

And, truth be told, you couldn't rush this even if you wanted to. You have no leads, no clues, and the one thing you thought could help flat out told you that your preferred method is going to work. In the end, you're helpless, no matter how much power you have now.

She started to tear again a little as her mind gave her the honest truth.

"...Would me telling you to listen to your heart be considered bad advice?" Soma polished off his wine, shaking his head to try and stave off the oncoming headache. "You're a good person. Never believe otherwise."

"Listen to my heart", huh? If only he could grasp that my heart wants me to jump his bones right here and now.

"Oh, Soma..." she said as her hand reached out to caress his cheek. "My heart wants me to to terrible things. Things I'd never forgive myself for. And I want to keep being a good person. Even if it doesn't give me the instant gratification that my body is screaming for."

"I want you to be happy. At this point, I haven't truly had happiness in so long that I'm accustomed to living without it, at least at the forefront. And whether or not I'm the one giving you that happiness doesn't matter."

She noticed that during her story, Makalov had sneaked in the bill slip. Before getting up, she slipped an absolutely massive tip into the slip.

"Soma, thank you. Truly. You've done more for me than I...rightly deserve."

She leaned down to give him a small kiss on the cheek.

"If...if things don't work out, with that Reisen girl...come find me, alright?"

The boy sat there, slowly placing a hand on his cheek where she had kissed him. "I...I will. And June. I mean it. If you need anything, let me know. Even if it's just someone to talk to..I'll help."

"Ah..They were delectable~" Airi walked out, patting her stomach and letting out a burp. "Truly, life force is the greatest of meals....Oh, did you two do it yet?"

Cue a squinting boi.

A warm smile stayed with her at Soma's remark. He really is too good for me.

June's face wasn't of embarrassment like it would have been at the beginning of the night, but simply of annoyance.

"No, we've put something of a rain check on that. Perhaps indefinitely, but we shall see. I suppose it is getting rather late, we should be getting home."

"Oh, and before I forget, did you still want me to push Dracula down for you? You mentioned something about it interfering with your soul powers but I could probably find a work around."

"That's...completely up to you, June. You've done a lot as it is. I honestly just hope you can rest easy."

"I'll let you think about that one, then. It seems like it's a bit more complex than just simply having a soul inside you. If you feel like doing it, we'll fiddle with it down the line."

"And, I'm not too worried about that, honestly. For the first time in a very long time, I might actually get some rest and enjoy it."

Lies. You'll still be thinking about her. Even now, that image of her barren room will stick with you.

shush, you. I've had enough of your pessimism.

Silly girl. This is YOUR pessimism.

Unable to freely shake off her own depressive thoughts, she's able to hide them well enough that no one will notice. Same as always, really.

"Come on, Airi. It's time to go home. Stay in touch, Soma, alright?"

As she walked out, her own thoughts racked her brain.

You should have taken him right then and there. You know you wanted it. That satisfaction. That pleasure. That release from the stress in your life.

of course I wanted it, but I didn't want to take it by force. Soma's a good person. If I just reached out and took him for myself, I'd be no better than...than...

The ones who took Ryuna?

That thought is...haunting, but it's what she leaves on. If she simply claimed Soma for herself, would she be any better than a kidnapper? Does she deserve that kind of happiness? Would that even be happiness?

"June. I hope you'll be alright. You're a good doctor. I'm sure things will work out perfectly."

That thought was not from Soma, who had been sitting down looking at the two, but Airi, who floated by June. "Until then...Well, we've got a lot of work, don't we? I still need to teach you how to rock that bod of yours, and blow people's minds~ That way, if Soma comes to you, or if you find the man of your dreams, you can show them a whole new world~ And I guess the patients to worry about, too."

"Airi..."

She wasn't used to this kind of compassion from her. Honestly, she always thought she just saw June as a food source more than any personal attachment. Maybe that's just her pessimism speaking for itself again.

"I suppose you're right, Airi. We'll always be busy with things, whether it's with patients, research or...other things. I've always got a lot of my plate. I just hope I'll have time to appreciate the things I want out of life. And I can find what those things are."

A doctor's work is never done, after all. There'll always be someone that gets sick or hurts themselves. Some idiot who stuck his hand into a pencil sharpener.

Her mind still something of a mess but feeling a little better about it, the two made their way home to possibly, maybe, hopefully, enjoy a good night's sleep for the first time in a while.