Comic Commissions of Mine

I just sent her the script, references, and paid today, so I have no idea when it'll be done, but it's coming! It's a lot like the stuff I'm commissioning from Jackurai where 2 succubi have captured a man and are holding him captive with magic kisses, only this is much more explicit.

Here's the script I sent her:

Characters:
Lars - The guy. I don't care much about his particulars so long as he has a scrawny to average type body, but has an amazing cock and somewhat large balls. His virility should seem uncanny.
Est - Purple haired succubus. The references I provided all show her with different clothes and I don't particularly care which you feel like using or how much they're wearing. The 2 simpler images that show both succubi and a boy together are from a flash animation Jackurai on Deviant Art is doing for me and I was fine with the simplifications he made to their clothes.
Cherry - The red haired succubus. Again, the amount of clothing and accessories you keep from picture to picture is up to you.

Note: both girls must have voluptuous, glossy lips and their lipstick color should match their hair color. Feel free to change the panels a bit if you think it'll make things more coherent or look better. I don't know much about comic design, so consider this a loose guideline. I'll describe the image first and then add the dialogue.

Panel 1: Lars is unconscious, nude, erect, has a collar on, and has a single kiss mark on his cheek. His arms and legs are bound to a sexy bed (whatever you can come up with) with legs spread to allow easy access to his cock and balls. The two succubi are on each side of him ogling his cock. Neither girl has lipstick on yet, but their lips should still look voluptuous.
Est: "What a nice catch!"
Cherry: "I know, I never would have thought he was packing this when we grabbed him... are you sure he's human?"

Panel 2: A close up of Lars' face as he's waking up. In this view we can see that his collar says "SPERM SLAVE #23"
Lars: "Uhhh... Where am I? Why am I naked?"

Panel 3: A view from Lars' perspective. The two succubi are still to the right and left of his cock, but are looking at his face now, smiling. Cherry is holding Lars' shaft.
Est: "Oh, I see you're up! We took you from that boring old village to your new home in our dungeon. From now on you'll..."

Panel 4: Lars gets worked up, but can't get loose from the shackles.
Lars: "What!? You let me go right..."

Panel 5: A close up of Est's lips and hand as she blows Lars a kiss. A pink mist or something should be blowing out of her mouth.

Panel 6: That pink mist reaches Lars' face and he looks bewildered, no longer able to resist or remember that he was trying to.

Panel 7: Est and Cherry are applying glossy lipstick that matches their hair colors. Lars' penis can be seen throbbing as he's even more aroused now than he was before.
Est: "Now, as I was trying to say before you so rudely interrupted me: From now on you'll be known as Sperm Slave 23."
Cherry: "And, if this beautiful cock of yours performs as well as it looks, you might just receive the honor of becoming our personal cum cow and fuck toy <3"

Panel 8: A close up of Cherry passionately kissing Lars' tip.
Lars (from outside the panel): "(a moan of ecstasy. I assume you'd know better than me what sound to use)"

Panel 9: Similar view to 8 except Cherry has finished the kiss and is now grinning at Lars. A big kiss mark can be seen around Lars' urethra opening. His penis is throbbing intensely and there should be something to imply that his balls are expanding as their producing huge amounts of semen.
Cherry: "Hee hee! Feel good? Our lipstick contains all sorts of enchantments and aphrodisiacs <3"
Est: "We just to be sure we see you cum your best before we make you ours..."

Panel 10: Cherry and Est are passionately kissing Lars' balls. Again, it should be implied that they're steadily growing larger.

Panel 11: Cherry and Est are now kissing the sides of Lars' shaft. The cock still has the first kissmark on its tip and one or two others. At least 2 kiss marks can also be seen on each of Lars' balls. The cock as a whole should look like it's about to burst and have a bit of pre-cum coming out the tip.

Panel 12: A close up of Cherry and Est kissing each side of Lars' penis head. Lars should have more pre-cum now, trailing down the head.

Panel 13: Lars' face in a pleasurable anguish as he's about to have an incredible orgasm. Kissing sounds should be coming from the edge of the panel, from the direction his cock would be implying that they're still kissing it.

Panel 14: Est and Cherry are staring eagerly at Lars' throbbing cock and balls, which are now covered all over with red and purple kiss marks. There should be a good amount of pre-cum trailing down the shaft. The balls should be quite a bit larger than they were originally, but not gigantic.
Est: "Looks like he's about to blow!"

Panel 15: Same view as 14 except Lars is ejaculating with a comically large, fountain-like load that flies up between 1 and 2 meters into the air. Est and Cherry are overjoyed as they look up at all the semen.
Cherry: "Looks like a keeper to me!"

Panel 16: Lars is panting and looks very exhausted and dehydrated, as if everything he had went into that ejaculation. His balls are back to their default size and his cock is flaccid. Both the cock and balls still have kiss marks all over them. Cherry and Est are laying on either side of him and they look pleased. Everything is covered in semen.
Est: "Next time we'll work on keeping you hard after the first load, alright?"
Cherry: "Yeah, don't worry 23, we'll have you cumming nonstop like a champ in no time! <3"

Panel 17: Est and Cherry are each kissing Lars on the cheek. Lars has fallen unconscious.

-End.

Panel 14 is going to be a really detailed full page drawing.

I also laid out a basic premise in my first email to her, but didn't include this exposition in the comic due to how expensive it would have been. I may end up expanding it into a full story in the future, though:

The overall premise would be that there's a castle in the woods full of succubi who live off men's sperm. Lately they've been capturing able-bodied men to amass a nice surplus of suitable sperm slaves and sex toys. These men are given various treatments and enchantments to increase their virility and the amount of semen they can produce and are evaluated based on their sexual performance, how large their cum shots are, and how healthy their sperm is. Men who can't perform well in their human state are turned into something akin to a "squiggly" from the hentai "Lunatic Night," which is a 4-balled penis creature that's larger than the man's original member and can produce more sperm, but the sperm isn't as good and it's not as enjoyable as a sexual partner.

I'm thinking the comic will center around a scrawny to average build guy who happens to have a perfect cock and abnormally large balls and 2 succubi who are sharing him. He'll wake up nude, chained to a bed, with a collar and the designation "sperm slave 23" printed somewhere on his body. The girls will oggle his perfect cock and balls for a bit and talk about how delicious they look. Then they'll apply really glossy lipstick and explain that it's a special blend of aphrodisiacs and enchantments to help 23 cum as hard as he possibly can. The two of them will procede to kiss his cock and balls all over, leaving kissmarks, then there will be a shot of the kissmark covered cock throbbing, and then he'll let loose a comically large ejaculation that drenches the 2 succubi in cum. 23 will look exhausted/dehydrated afterward and the succubi will tell him that they're going to be having a lot of fun together from now on.

Lars. Est. Someone has been drawing names from Succubus Quest.

someones been play succubus quest

Can't wait to see how this turns out

Man, Succubus Quest brings back memories. Probably the first popular Monstergirl game.

I just wish I could have played it. >.<

She sent me a rough sketch earlier. There are some continuity issues, but I'm assuming it's stuff she'll fix in the final version. This was mostly a sample of the character designs and I have to say I'm not complaining

That's fantastic! Is this the only page, or will there be more? And how much is this all costing you?

I paid her for 6, but I'm wondering how she'll populate the other 5 given how efficient she was with this one.

She charges $130 per page, full color and such. That said, if I get any more they might just be black and white. I obviously have some spare dough, but I should probably start checking this along with a few other hobbies/vices >_>

Interesting. I would agree with you about one being color and the others being black and white. Still, I'm sure she'll create something magnificent, and I can't wait to see how it turns out

I've been talking to Vanja lately since her comic commissions are less than 1/4th the price. I might get some more expositional stuff from her.

Good stuff! Are you going to share it here? And what particularly do you mean by expositional? Like, events leading up to the main char being strapped to the bed?

Yes to both. The Vanja thing might have different characters for the sake of variety, but it'll be a similar story, just expanded because it'll be cheaper/faster to do so.

Fantastic. Thank you very much for your contribution!

Is anyone here good with names? I sent Vanja references and a script earlier, but I couldn't think of names I liked for anyone and just referred to the girls by their lipstick colors and the guys by their roles.

Here's what I sent her: http://www.mediafire.com/?xjy891ibb88pveh Nothing I'd call art, but this is basically just porn for me, so w/e

As I said before, it's a similar story to the VanuLove thing, but expanded due to cost and such. Like, anything going on here can assumed to be a thing that happens in the other comic.

I've played way too many BF games >_>

This is pretty great quality so far, but $130 is a shitload of money... I'd say you could get something like this for $75-80 per page in the future.

handsomered wrote:

I've played way too many BF games >_>

preaching to the choir my handsomefriend



off topic

you avi made me lol

I paid Vanja today for her commission. She only does 4 pages at a time, so the first chapter I had planned will be 2 commissions. She said she was starting on the cover page, so maybe I'll have that to show soon?

Unfortunately, the way the updated script I sent her worked out, there wasn't a lot of kissing in the first 4 pages, but there's a ton by the end of it.

I haven't heard from VanuLove since I got that page I posted earlier.

handsomered wrote:

I haven't heard from VanuLove since I got that page I posted earlier.

Apparently she's been trying to send me previews of pages 2 and 3 of that comic, but her email's being problematic :/

:/

Well, here's hoping the previews come through soon! I can't wait to see what you've acquired

I've asked her to add another panel to page 3 and more kiss marks to page 4. I hope she's cool with that ^_^;

Very nice!

Just got a cover page from Vanja's thing.

Amazing, cant wait to see the rest

Very nice and that dude is freaking lucky! lol